YOUR CABLE OPERATORSUBSCRIBER RELATIONS · ONE STATIC-FILLED TUBE
RE: WHAT THIS IS
PLACEHOLDER DRAFT

Dear Subscriber,

This is a YouTube scheduler in an '80s costume, built by a weird Gen Xer with too much time on his hands.

That's the whole thing. Twenty-some channels run on a clock. You don't pick a program, you land on one, the same one everybody else on this channel is watching at this minute, commercials at the act breaks and all. There's a guide on channel 1 that crawls too slowly on purpose. There's a newspaper. Channel 69 is scrambled and will stay that way.

Nothing is hosted here

Every picture on this set is YouTube's own player, playing a video that lives on YouTube, uploaded by whoever uploaded it, with their ads and their view count. We don't copy, store, or serve a single frame. We keep a schedule. If a video disappears from YouTube it disappears from the schedule the next night. If you own something you see here and would rather it not be scheduled, say so and it's gone.

What we keep on your device

The volume. Whether you zoomed. A counter for the pledge break. That's the list, and it lives in your browser, not on any server of ours, because there is no server of ours. The weather channel never asks where you are; it shows ten towns we picked, Minneapolis most.

Why it exists

Because somebody wondered how hard it would be to watch old music videos in a shell that looked like the console TV in his dad's basement. The answer turned out to be "about three days and then it got out of hand." Public access has its own channel now. There is a weather scan. The Community Bulletin Board is generated from word math and is not to be trusted.

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL CABLE OPERATOR EXAMPLE.COM/PLEDGE
Buys nothing. Unlocks nothing. Keeps the signal on.

Credits, such as they are

Yours in basketweave,
The Cable Office

This page is a placeholder and will be rewritten by someone with a keyboard and a grudge.Back to the set